Wow, work! It’s coming and it’s all pretty exciting. I’m poised to make one third of my last year’s income in January alone. Granted my income for last year, (and for that matter, all the years before last), was abysmal, but I’m thrilled to start the new year and this new chapter in my work life with such positive momentum.The projects I’m getting are all, for the most part, creative and challenging and I’m working in situations that afford me ample opportunity to contribute, not just my skills and experience as a writer, but as a conceptual creative. I have two important meetings tomorrow before I drive down to Berkeley. We’ll see what direction those conversations take, but I am starting to see the possibilities for my personal interests and professional work to merge, and I am beginning to appreciate how my marketing work puts me in contact with people, organizations and ideas that fuel my creative work. I’m working again with a client from the past who makes a very good living as a freelance consultant. He’s well respected for his work and ideas and pretty much talks clients into letting him pursue project directions that interest him. In that regard, he serves as a good role model for me.
This one is appropriate to follow work since I am presently not at Bikram this evening as planned, and at my desk working instead. Here we go again. At least I understand that my work crunch will ebb and flow and that I can, for the most part, morph my schedule to accommodate my other priorities with occasional exceptions. And yes, I love Bikram’s addition to my life and I am dedicating myself to going faithfully—to building physical and personal strength, patience, perseverance and flexibility.
I am also starting the new year with incredible positive momentum in my relationship with Jordan. Between Thanksgiving and the end of January is a relatively quiet period in his business and the absence of his usually high level of stress has had a profound influence on our personal dynamic. We’ve spent far more time together just hanging out and it’s felt incredible. I think we also made it through that difficult period in a new relationship—that stretch between the honeymoon and finding a rhythm of trust and acceptance. In my mind, Jordan’s been on probation while I decide what I can and can’t live with and we struggle to find compromises between our separate personalities that feel comfortable to both of us. It’s challenging and scary, trying to discern what are acceptable sacrifices and what aren’t. I asked myself one day in my journal: is it worse to settle or to search and risk never being content? Over Christmas it occurred to me that I am related by blood and marriage to an odd lot—all of whom love one another without judgment. I have been so worried about whether or how Jordan would fit in with my family. Letting that go is a huge relief. I went home without him and no one thought the worse of it, or if they did, I wasn’t aware. I’m sure he’ll come with me occasionally, but more likely, not often, and that feels fine.
I spoke with a realtor today and officially began my search. I was able to spend some time reflecting on what I want to manifest over the holiday and feel ready to move forward. I also let go of my usual sense of urgency and realized that I have a great situation and I can afford—and should—be patient. Patience is definitely something I credit Jordan for helping me cultivate.