Materials on Hand

I desired fulfilling love

And sought

My liberation

           A spiritual transformation

I wanted something

More

Than everything

I’d known before.

I imagined my perfect lover

          Then conjured into being

Years

Spent caring

          For my mother—

Fucker!

That wasn’t what I

Wanted

          To write an original tale

To find my

Voice—

          The artist in me

Set free.

I thought I’d paid my dues

So this is how

The Universe

Pays me?

Obligated

To put my dreams

           And life

Aside

Or so at first

It seemed.

Compassion

          And resentment

Another test

The battle inside of me;

          Surrender and humility

If only they came easily

Instead

They bring us to our knees

           Indifferent

To our woeful pleas.

But life is infinitely more

Than everything it seems

And with its own creative schemes

          In time

It answers all our dreams.

Fulfilling love?

I fell in Love

          With Life

—My cosmic lover

Not only one

          But everywhere

In everyone.

And of my art?

I came to understand

          The materials on hand

Are all we ever need

—The artist that resides within

Wants only to begin.

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