Wow. In the words of Elvis Costello: Welcome to the working world. So now I know what I’ve been missing. I’m in a perpetual state of exhaustion, my personal life is unraveling and I have no time or energy left over for anything remotely peripheral in my life. Gee, and I wanted to do this? Why?
In all seriousness, the jury is still out. There have been moments when I have really questioned my sanity and other moments where I have actually enjoyed myself. All things being equal, WineShopper seems like a great company to work for—great people, organized, respectful, exciting vision and a positive environment. And yes, getting a paycheck feels incredibly good.
I’m confident that part of my exhaustion—mental, physical and emotional—is because this is new and that I will adapt. I find that I don’t realize how much energy I expend until the day is finally over and I get on the bus to come home. I feel this huge let down and I am left completely wiped out. Of course, since nothing else in my life has changed my day doesn’t end with work but rolls right into meetings, guests, parties and a million other reasons to keep me away from home. I miss talking to my family whenever I want to—actually, I miss talking to them at all.
Other thoughts and experiences. It is weird to be a “worker bee” after being my own boss for so long. It is also weird to be a worker bee when I am used to interacting at a senior management, decision maker level. The chatter and noise in the office is hard to get used to. The endless conversations about work I could do without. And last but not least, my department is relocating to Napa. Our Editor decided to move us to the company’s Napa office so that we can work more closely with trade development and learn about wine. From a work standpoint, it makes sense and I am looking forward to the wine education. From a lifestyle perspective, half of my excitement about working was to join the energy of the city and be near John. The office in Napa is in an office park, there is nothing around for miles. The commute is actually shorter—but it involves driving. Looking for pluses: the Napa office has a shower and I can exercise at lunch since there is nothing else to do. Unlike in the city, everyone leaves right at five, no later than six. As I write this, I realize I’m warming up to the idea, especially because part of the trade off is that I get to work from home two days a week. I think that will help me stay balanced.