It’s only been two weeks since my February check-in and I still don’t have much to say.
BODY and HEALTH
I just finished my morning yoga and am loving having my own yoga studio. More than anything else, having a designated space helps motivate me. Since John left—and since I heard Thich Nhat Hanh speak on the middle path and mindfulness—I have been very attuned to my body and trying to treat it as my most precious asset. When I slip up and don’t eat mindfully or don’t exercise for a period, I am patient with myself and just return to it. It feels wonderful to feel strong, flexible, healthy.
I mentioned that I was hired to ghostwrite a book, well I am fully realizing what an opportunity this is for me, both creatively and professionally. I am incredibly excited about the project and excited to think that I will see my work in the world. I am realizing that the book will be successful, if for no other reason than due to the popularity of the two designers and the fact that there is nothing of its kind in print.
Believing as I do that everything happens for a reason, I find myself wondering if my break with John has less to do with who I meet in the future as with me having this opportunity to fully discover myself. An opportunity to find my voice and develop a career path; something I’ve struggled with for so long—wanting a career. I am relishing this time as a gift to rediscover my independence and strength. I’ve reconnected with my love of cooking. I feel alive and strong in my body. I have energy again. I recognize and am excited about the unlimited opportunities and choices available to me—everything from who I spend my time with, to how I spend my time. I feel financially capable and strong, unlimited in my opportunity to create wealth. Although I currently have a tremendous amount of debt to pay off and a huge monthly nut to acclimate to, even this challenge feels empowering instead of daunting. I also realize that how I enter my next relationship will be very different from how I entered this partnership with John—differences that have everything to do with me, not John.